Stubbs the Zombie in Rebel Without a Pulse (PC, Xbox)
Size: Medium/Small, about 2.5 gigs
Release: October 18, 2005
“Stubbs The Zombie in Rebel Without a Pulse” is a hidden gem of a video game. I was rather shocked when I came across it. It should be a CLASSIC. A CORNERSTONE of zombie games! Its magniferent, unamilous, unbeliterably epical! Ok, but all my retarded joking aside, this game really IS the shit.
So Stubbs was made by the now Disney-owned Wideload Games. But, like I said, Disney now owns them. Thats probably why we haven’t seen a squeal yet. This game (for its time) boasted some firepower as it was programmed on the same engine as Halo. The first Halo, mind you, but Halo nonetheless. Even though its made off of Halo, it plays nothing like Halo.
You play as Stubbs, a dashing and debonair corpse who wouldn’t be caught dead… erm… alive…. without his fedora, fashionable tie, and a lit smoke in between his green lips. Stubbs is a nice guy. He really only wants to make friends, and by make friends I of course mean liberate the living of their cranial matter. The game begins with a bewildered Stubbs standing in the middle of Punchbowl, a futuristic utopia that sports hover-cars, automated menial workers, fully automatic gas stations (more on that in a bit), and big shinny buildings. Apparently there is a story that goes along with this game, but as I played through it, I detected no coherent plot. The whole prospect of the game is to eat brains, amass a hoard of undead, and urinate into drinking water reservoirs among other things. There are two really great points to this game. The first is the game-play. You get to fucking EAT people. Name one other game that boasts that. To accomplish this goal, you have a myriad of… organic tools. You can swing your arms, throw exploding guts, take control of people by attaching a disembodied hand to their skull, bowl with your own head, and blow out fucking zombie gas from hell. The best part of course is hearing the NPC’s anguished screams as you gnaw into their skulls and slurp out their cranial jell-o. On top of all that, the game has ADD and cant decide what type of game it actually is! At parts its a mele brawler, then its tank combat, then its a shooter, and it was even a DDR dance-off for a bit… it was odd though fun. I’m sure it changes even more, though I haven’t gotten to play the whole thing yet.
The second great thing about this game is the incredibly funny comedic plot and dialogue. I laughed all the way through. The game is set in the 60′s and is entirely made to make fun of the era and their views of how the future would look. It a characacher of the eras stereotypes: The dumb cops, jocks, slutty cheerleaders, greasers, mad scientists, and so on. The anti-zombie-red-commi-nazi rednecks kill me (and Stubbs too, actually) with their racially discriminant slurs about “keeping out them foreigners.” The cops are dumb as posts. In the mall, you are barraged with incredibly awkward advertisements played over the loud speakers. The cut-scenes will make you cry tears of laughter! In one cut scene, two cops pull up to a gas station and tell the automated gas pumping robot to fill her up. To the cops dismay, the robot unzips his robotic fly and pulled out his metal dong. It humped the car slowly and masterfully… while talking casually to the cops sitting in the car. I think the developers like porn… just a hunch.
The downside to this game is the graphics… they are pretty bad. Its somewhat made better by the liberal use of video filters, but its still an old game. This little gem is available on Steam for PC and available on the XBL for Xbox 360 (even though its an Xbox classic game)
Fucked-0-meter: [********-_] 8+1/2 out of 10
FU Rating: [*********_] 9 out of 10
Final verdict: You should play this game! Sure its old, but its a classic. If you like zombies or are an aficionado of old games, this is your game!