Category Archives: Drugs/Alcohol

Happy MP3 Day To All Our Readers

Max Payne 3 Review Courtesies Of Gamespot

Happy MAX PAYNE 3 Day To All

   So it has finally arrived over eleven years from Max Payne 2, but it has come, Hell has frozen over. Most of our readers have probably never played Max Payne 1 or 2 and if you’re amongst them then it’s tea bag time for you. However, if you’re a more mature seasoned gamer, then you have not only played the shit out of Max Payne 1 and 2, you have probably called in sick today to play Max Payne 3, “I’m in bed with a nasty clown,” or in our case “I’m in bed dick up to my eyes.” okay, okay, I know I’m no comedian but hey everyone nowadays gets an A+ just for showing up. I thought long and hard about a Max Payne 3 review and even my own personal FUG video review which we have never done. But 3 beers later and 1 hour into the Max Payne 3, I figured I could just repost the excellent gamespot video review and get myself back to the game. So if you’re reading this looking for a review of some sort, then here is a brief review……. Why the fuck are you reading this? The title of the game is MAX PAYNE 3 , are you a retarded Wal-Mart employee? Get your ass off the couch and buy this game NOW maggots


Far Cry 3′s Action And Drugs Trailer

“Did I ever tell you the definition of insanity?”

It’s always good to know “a guy” in case you need to get a hold of a product or service that you generally wont find at a convenience store, in Far Cry 3 Dr. Earnhardt will be able to hook you up with all the (self-tested) hallucinogenic drugs your body can just barely handle. And being Far Cry 3, expect a ton of action, and explosions while all this tropical mind-altering debauchery is taking place.

Far Cry 3 is hitting September 4th for: Xbox 360, PC, and Ps3.


Mass Effect 3 Characters Get Drunk

Ashley Williams on the floor drunk

Mass Effect 3 is an RPG that gives you a lot of personal choice, and freedom; you can generally say what you like, fuck who you like, and even get drunk if you’d like.

But even when you’re not subjecting yourself (Commander Shepard) to the sweet bitter bite of booze, that’s not going to stop your crew from “blowing off some steam” and getting drunk off their asses, as you can see in the humorous drunk Ashley Williams video above (which by the way despite the warning, doesn’t contain any overall plot spoilers)

If you’d like to see Commander Shepard get drunk, and pass out then continue reading.

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Zelda Beer Pong Table

If this isn’t art, I don’t know what is. If you ever wanted to get drunk while looking at the Legend Of Zeldas world map (very odd fantasy) then this custom made Legend Of Zelda beer pong table is for you!

Want to see how it was made? There’s a video breezing through the creation process after the break.

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Breaking Bad: Cook Meth In An 8-Bit Video Game!

Pause the video to read what Jesse has to say after this point, it’s very…informative

The guys from CollegeHumor have really outdone themselves this time. If you haven’t seen AMC’s critical darling “Breaking Bad” before, then let me give ya a quick summary:

A brilliant chemist named Walter White wastes his talent teaching highschool kids, while leading a stale meaningless life, until he catches a bad case of ‘the cancer’ and ends up cooking crystal meth in order to pay for his treatment; through these endeavors (and a death sentence from his doctor) Walter is finally able to live his life by constantly blowing past his comfort zones, and ‘breaking bad’ in his increasingly immoral exploits.

It’s one of the best things you can watch on TV, but if you’ve only got a minute, then I’d like to direct your attention to this hilarious 8-bit RPG video game re-imagining of Breaking Bad by CollegeHumor. If you’ve seen the show you absolutely have to check this out, and if you haven’t seen the show you’re missing out on one of the finest fucked up television shows out there. Continue reading for the video.


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Guy Leaves Picture Of Weed Smoking On 3DS

Fun fact: Smoke enough weed, and you’ll be stunned by the realization that life is in 3D, then you’ll fall asleep

Here’s a fun story from someone at Gaming Unity:

“when I booted up my 3DS and one of the built-in games to find a photo of the previous owner smoking weed. This didn’t really bother me but could have definitely lead to some awkward questions had the 3DS gone to a child, even more so if the previous owner had decided to take some more illicit 3D photos. I contacted the CEO of Game / Gamestation to let him know of this and asked if it was their store policy. As expected, apparently it is store policy to clear the data from all consoles that are bought. I was assured that the importance of wiping all data from any console they buy would be stressed with their training department. As well as that, I received £25 compensation which is awful kind!

Moral of the story? Buy a used 3DS, and take a 3D picture of your buddy taking a massive bong hit, and you’ll get cash compensation, then if you send your story+picture into Fucked Up Games, we’ll write about you, seriously; do it.


5 Video-Drinking Games For New Years

New Years is one of the greatest Holidays of the year, because typically you get a break from your family you saw far too much of during Christmas, and you’re usually ready to kick back, and get drunk off your ass.

So in light of this most unres0ponsible of Holidays, I figured I’d help play a role in potentially the demise of thousands of individuals, by providing not only an excuse to drink, but 5 games that force you to drink (that is if your gaming competitive streak stretches over to drinking games as well)

Call Of Duty Drinking Game:

This game can be played with probably any FPS. You’ll enjoy (or hate) this drinking game based on how good your shooting is. If you suck, you’re going to get pretty drunk, but if you kick ass at FPS’s then your going to destroy your drunken comrades. Read the rules here.

Drawn Together Drinking Game:

Do you like your television filthy, vile, racist, and unapologetically awesome? Then you’re going to love Drawn Together, and this drinking game will make you so drunk you’ll love…anything, the rules to this drinking game are easy to remembe

r, and will have you drinking more than a Native on Thanksgiving. Read the rules here.

Bomberman Drinking Game:

The Bomberman drinking game was easily the most well received liquor catalyst my friends, and I have ever played. Easy to play, and nearly everyone (gamer or not) is on fairly even ground. And if you’re playing it on the Ps3 up to 7 people can join in on the fun! Read the rules here.

Marvel VS Capcom Drinking Game:

Marvel VS Capcom is one of the most beloved fighters of all time. And the visuals look great while drunk, after all; why do you think they have those pretty light machines in bars, and nearly nowhere else? Have to be pretty drunk to appreciate the ‘subtly’ of that kind of multi-ray in your face seizure-inducing joy. Plus we needed a fighter on this list, because as you all know, violence and alcohol go hand in hand.

Mario Kart Drinking Game:

I’m ending on a high note here, as this is my absolute favorite video-drinking game. The Mario Kart drinking game is great because it combines: Mario Kart, chugging beer, and competitiveness all in one sloppy, bravado filled race to beat your buddies at what truly matters: driving drunk. Also note that you can use any karting game for this one, and probably even some normal racing games, my friends and I used Modnation Racers. Read the rules here.

So there you have it folks! Have a Happy New Year, and enjoy drinking your respective selves stupid.

 

 


Max Payne 3 Preview

“Warning May Contain Content Inappropriate For Small Children” – It fucking better =)

Max Payne 3 is set to release on March 2012, and I suggest you mark that date in your calendar. Because this alcoholic bastard is pissed off.

For those of you that aren’t familiar with the Max Payne series, whether you were too young or too busy boozing your way through school, here is a recap.  The original Max Payne was released way back on December 11, 2001. Max Payne was ground breaking with its bullet time slowdowns, pain killer health display and its dark storyline. With the huge success of Max Payne and the desire of fans to continue the story, spawned the release of May Payne 2 on November 25, 2003. The follow up title never did live up to all the hype, and honestly, it never had a chance. The bar from the first May Payne was set too high and could never be met. But Max Payne 2 sold well and has since had fans awaiting a third, and now the wait is almost over.

Keep reading to find out more about the upcoming Max Payne 3, including the confirmation of Multiplayer

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Silly Asians Take On U.K’s Urinal Games

I think she’s depressed, or really, really bored

New Media Animation, the Taiwanese news group that make comically awkward looking CGI recaps of some of the more interesting gaming news has released a video about the London pub that put in urinal games to keep us men entertained, and encourage us to drink much much more. Win win right? They also mention the Japanese pissing games that came first.

Ignoring what this post is supposed to be about; what sticks out to me is the host, and her incredibly dry personality, also the fact that she has western looking eyes (apparently they’re called ‘double eyelids’) There are a couple possibilities for why she had ‘double eyelids’:

  1. Some Asians naturally have ‘double eyelids’
  2. Surgery
  3. GLUE!

I’m not joking about the third one, apparently some Asians are gluing their eyelids together to get rid of that stereotypical Asian look. You can view a disturbing video on it after the break.

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Pissing/Urinal Games ARE Coming!

It’s so beautiful

The UK is getting its first pissing game in a local bar, and the reception so far is very positive. The other great thing about the UK’s take on these games is that you get to actually steer your character, or control on screen actions with your steady stream of piss, whereas the quirky kinda creepy Japanese pissing games are more or less just a pissing contest.

Urinal pissing games are clearly the next generation of user interface, but unfortunately the deciding factor in the future is usually money. Luckily despite these urinal games looking expensive, and non-profitable, it`s easy to see how implementing them in a bar will promote excessive drinking, and thus more play time, and cash exchange.

`Dude you should of seen it, Johnson totally scored a 12, it was epic, he really knows how to work that thing`

I`ve got a feeling bar washrooms are about to take a somewhat homo-erotic turn….