Recently we featured a hilarious musical satire about a girlfriend who’s being neglected due to her boyfriends Diablo 3 obsession, and as funny as that was, this is (most likely) a very real issue for many loved ones living with a Diablo 3 addict.
And that’s why french sex shop Absoloo is joining in on the fun, and chucking a heaping helping of potentially constructive humor at the issue, by giving anyone feeling abandoned due to a lovers lost interest because of Diablo 3, a free small vibrator.
Absoloo said this on their official blog (translated):
“He’s magic!” “No, the guards are just morons”
Saying the AI in Assassins Creed is stupid is sorta an understatement, sure social stealth works in some cases, but when a group is chasing you, and you sit on a bench no one’s going to run right past you, especially if you’re sticking out like a sore thumb by being the only dude in a long feature obscuring white robe.
In this hilarious spoof HISHE points out nearly everything wrong with Assassins Creeds AI in moments before logically concluding how the game should have ended.
Diablo 3 does not have a secret cow level (the title is a bald-faced lie) however, Diablo 3 does have a secret level that serves as the spiritual sequel to the secret cow level.
But first some background, when Diablo 3′s gameplay footage was first revealed, many fans were distraught upon viewing the games bright vivid colors, which looked more akin to World of Warcraft, than any previous Diablo; exaggeration ensued as it usually does, leading many fans, and critics alike to relating Diablo 3′s aesthetic to: Rainbows, sunshine, and unicorns. In response the Blizzard team working on Diablo 3 wore shirts sporting the design above to Blizzcon in possibly the greatest form of professional counter-trolling ever conducted.
Present day, Diablo 3 is out; and the obligatory “secret cow level” is called “Whimyshire” it’s a beautiful, bright magical land inhabited by Unicorns, teddy bears, sunshine, and enough gleeful happiness to cause cancer.
Continue reading for video footage of Diablo 3′s take on the secret cow level ‘Whimyshire’ and instructions to open the portal to this magical cancer inflicting world.
“How do you know so much computer jargon, but not know you can’t put a computer in a bag of ice?!”
Ever since Steam made PC gaming…relevant again, PC gamers have been touting the benefit of their higher end platform in console gamers faces, often equating Ps3, or Xbox 360 players to a lower more casual breed of gamer (not unlike the way we all JUSTIFIABLY mock Facebook/Smart Phone gaming)
But of course there’s pros, and cons to whichever avenue of gaming you spend your hard earned cash on. PC gaming may have better graphics, and modding, but it’s more expensive to set up a powerful rig, and PC gamers don’t have access to the diverse umbrella of Playstation exclusive games the Ps3 enjoys (same would go for Wii, as Nintendo has an almost equally powerful list of developers under its all encompassing Nintendo brand, but Wii is easy to emulate on the PC, and Xbox 360 isn’t worth mentioning as it has few exclusives, and many of those ‘exclusives’ are on PC)
In this funny over the top satire about the division between PC, and console gamers we see a group of friends not so tragically torn apart by the PC menace.
Also the video gets +1 from me for using Disturbed’s “Down With The Sickness” twice briefly.
There’s a reason why I’m not playing Diablo 3, it’s the same factor that keeps me away from the rapidly released annual story based Assassins Creed series, and largely why I didn’t touch the deep RPG experience that is Mass Effect until I found the second two titles for cheap.
I used to play Diablo 2 when I was younger, great game; but also one of the biggest time sinks you can have the
misfortune of stepping into, and although fun when you have the time, a game like that just places a ton of pressure on any, and every other aspect of your life, by demanding your attention through mentally addictive character progression.
But all seriousness aside, this parody is hilarious, and really catchy; gotta love hearing the girlfriend rap back about how much of a loser the boyfriend is: “Playing games, and wacking off is all you ever do” Also remember to bookmark this video…just to show it to your girlfriend if she starts bitching about your (hopefully moderated to some degree) gaming habits.
“I’m sorry I broke your glasses in our fight to the death”
When you’re in a fight to the death, it’s typically a good idea to dress light, and avoid carrying anything fragile, or expensive in your pockets, but some people don’t live long enough to learn valuable life lessons like this.
This hilarious Mortal Kombat spoof was made by Dorkly.
directly? where victory isn’t determined by sales numbers, or reviews, but rather; by who’s standing at the end of an exchange of bullets? Hell, have you ever wanted to see the very different Master Chief, and Commander Shepard duke it out? Well now’s your chance, this amazing video cross-over combines all of these games, and more in a fight where only one series will end up on top.
Have you ever wanted to see Battlefield, and Modern Warfare compete
View the video first, then continue reading for the full list of featured games, in order of appearance.
You know what? There’s a reason Mario steps on, and kicks all of those turtle assholes around, namely; they’re douchebags, especially this one, and in true Mario fashion, he gets what’s coming to him.
Somehow seeing that Koopa skull bashed in with a shell just feels right, it’s the true satisfying nature of how things go down in the Mushroom Kingdom…especially when you fuck with a dinosaur.
You know how Wal-Mart gets huge tax breaks for hiring people of….lesser mental states? (I’m not calling Wal-Mart employees in general stupid, I do mean literal retards) these employees are typically in positions where a certain level of mental finesse isn’t really required (greeter, cart collector) well it looks like Wal-Mart has a retard (or a pure bred grade-A moron) working at HQ writing website descriptions for certain products.
Continue reading for a disastrously idiotic, poorly written, and just plain stupid description of Diablo 3
online, and the internet in general is sort of an asshole-factory….hell I’d use this site as an example, but, honestly the online community in general just takes an immoral nose dive from here on, so hold onto your e-rape kit kids.
Rule #1 in online gaming? Trust no one, because you’ve gotta remember the keyword in online multiplayer, is