Category Archives: Humor

Retardation At Its Finest: Wal-Marts Diablo 3 Description

By Exovedate

You know how Wal-Mart gets huge tax breaks for hiring people of….lesser mental states? (I’m not calling Wal-Mart employees in general stupid, I do mean literal retards) these employees are typically in positions where a certain level of mental finesse isn’t really required (greeter, cart collector) well it looks like Wal-Mart has a retard (or a pure bred grade-A moron) working at HQ writing website descriptions for certain products.

Continue reading for a disastrously idiotic, poorly written, and just plain stupid description of Diablo 3

Continue reading

Leave a comment | posted in Humor, PC

Battlefield 3: Playing n00b Parody

By Exovedate

Rule #1 in online gaming? Trust no one, because you’ve gotta remember the keyword in online multiplayer, is online, and the internet in general is sort of an asshole-factory….hell I’d use this site as an example, but, honestly the online community in general just takes an immoral nose dive from here on, so hold onto your e-rape kit kids.

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This Skyrim Bikini Contest Has a Happy Ending

By Exovedate

“I hope she’s got a good personality, cause looking like that; she’s fucked”

From what I understand, most bikini, or beauty contests try to play down, cover up, and justify the real reason people are watching these things (sex) by clouding up the process with all the individual facets of the contestants no one really cares about: personality, goals, intelligence, talents, etc

Well this Skyrim bikini contest is different, there’s one judge who bruteishly outlines everything he likes (or is repulsed by) in regards to the girls bodies, while skimming over the previously mentioned “personal bullshit no one cares about”

The hook? The judge gets to fuck the piece of ass he pins the blue ribbon on. In a perfect world all beauty contests would operate in such a transparent hilarious fashion.

Leave a comment | posted in Fan Project, Humor, PC, Sex

Bullet To Balls: Cringe Worthy Sniper Elite V2 Exploding Sack Shots

By Exovedate

Words cannot portray the amount of sympathy I have for these poor digital sub-male Nazi’s

You may have seen ‘Sniper Elite V2′ posted on Fucked Up Games in the past, and for good reason; the slow-mo partial x-ray sniper shots are a beautiful symphony of carnage, and gore.

This montage takes things to a whole new level of pain, by focusing squarely on the Nazi soldiers nuts (and yes the testicles are shown via x-ray….until they explode that is) Anyone else think the computer has an auto-assist to increase the number of ball-busting shots? If so I’m gonna have to blame any, and all female programmers over at Rebellion Developments…..conniving harpies.

Leave a comment | posted in Blood/Gore, Humor, PC, Playstation, Ps3, Xbox, xbox 360

Super Smash Bros….MURDER (Episodes 1-3)

By Exovedate

Super Smash Bros is one of my favorite game franchises of all time (that’s why I’m so pumped for Playstation All Stars: Battle Royale) but there is one key feature the Smash Bros series is sorely lacking, and that’s excessive amounts of gore, and that’s what this hilarious violent take on Super Smash Bros delivers, and what it lacks in iinteractivity, it makes up for in hilarity….and even more blood.

Leave a comment | posted in Blood/Gore, Humor

Mortal Kombat Secret Character Fatalities 2

By Exovedate

What’s better than seeing the likes of Sonic, Samus the Rash from Doom, or even the Pong paddles perform a bloody fatality on classic Mortal Kombat characters? Lots of things, but for the brief moments of potential nothingness currently sitting in front of you, this video stacks up mighty well.

Leave a comment | posted in Humor

Video Game Dog Park

By Exovedate

SHUT UP SKATEBOARD!

This ridiculous, funny video by Dorkly shows a range of retro video game characters at a park with their dogs. There’s even some character inclusions you won’t see coming.

And ya I’ve always felt bad for Yoshi constantly getting ridden on (not in the good way) sure when Mario is small it’s easy enough to get on Yoshi’s back, but if you so much as bite a mushroom in Super Mario World, then Marios ass ends up literally, and partially overflowing off Yoshi’s poor back. Luckily animal labor/rights laws don’t apply to fictional characters.

Check out the original on Dorkly’s site here.

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Racist Kombat UPDATE: Video Fixed

By Exovedate

When Ed Boon, and John Tobias were working on Mortal Kombat 1, they obviously needed a stereotypical asian kung-fu master, and thus the directly Bruce Lee inspired Liu Kang was born. And I don’t think there’s even a slight chance the guys at Midway weren’t howling with laughter as they added the high-pitched stereotypical asian chicken noises to Liu Kangs battle noises. Hell check out an audio sample below, then try and tell me that’s not completely intentional good old fashioned racist comedy.

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Princess Peach Should Avoid Politics

By Exovedate

If you’re as blonde, and pretty as Princess Peach, maybe you should just stick to picking flowers, and constantly getting ~~raped~~ kidnapped by a giant turtle monster.

I’m not saying Women are bad at politics, or decision making, nor am I implying that blondes are stupid….but on the other hand when you trash both of those talking points, I’m not really sure where to go with this.

….thank Satans glorious name the U.S voted in the black guy rather than the Woman hey? But seriously if you put some thought into it, a person like Peach would never need to be smart. She’s rich/royalty, and she’s blonde, and attractive. So unless this hypothetical real-world potentially political interpretation of Peach is the kind of person with a passion for knowledge (which she very well could be) then the pretty’n pink princess is most likely an idiot.

Huh, I give this shit way too much thought. Either way check out the video, it’s hilarious.

Leave a comment | posted in Humor, Nintendo

Mario Skips Bowsers Minions

By Exovedate

Every thing, and one in life has some specific purpose. Sure many purposes are mundane, treacherous, unappealing, or nearly pointless, but we cling to these purposes so that we’re able to feel valid.

So while Justin Bieber, and Celine Dion are making Canadians legitimately embarrassed as a nation, Barack Obama is rebuilding America’s shattered international image after George Bush seemingly confirmed every American stereotype through his own personal actions. But how about Bowsers minions, do they have a purpose? As it turns out, yes, yes they do, their purpose is essentially waiting for death, while hoping Mario’s stupid enough to hit them on the wrong angle, and die.

This stupid funny video is by Dorkly, check out the original here.

Leave a comment | posted in Humor, Nintendo