You know what? There’s a reason Mario steps on, and kicks all of those turtle assholes around, namely; they’re douchebags, especially this one, and in true Mario fashion, he gets what’s coming to him.

Somehow seeing that Koopa skull bashed in with a shell just feels right, it’s the true satisfying nature of how things go down in the Mushroom Kingdom…especially when you fuck with a dinosaur.

If you’re as blonde, and pretty as Princess Peach, maybe you should just stick to picking flowers, and constantly getting raped kidnapped by a giant turtle monster.

I’m not saying Women are bad at politics, or decision making, nor am I implying that blondes are stupid….but on the other hand when you trash both of those talking points, I’m not really sure where to go with this.

….thank Satans glorious name the U.S voted in the black guy rather than the Woman hey? But seriously if you put some thought into it, a person like Peach would never need to be smart. She’s rich/royalty, and she’s blonde, and attractive. So unless this hypothetical real-world potentially political interpretation of Peach is the kind of person with a passion for knowledge (which she very well could be) then the pretty’n pink princess is most likely an idiot.

Huh, I give this shit way too much thought. Either way check out the video, it’s hilarious.

Every thing, and one in life has some specific purpose. Sure many purposes are mundane, treacherous, unappealing, or nearly pointless, but we cling to these purposes so that we’re able to feel valid.

So while Justin Bieber, and Celine Dion are making Canadians legitimately embarrassed as a nation, Barack Obama is rebuilding America’s shattered international image after George Bush seemingly confirmed every American stereotype through his own personal actions. But how about Bowsers minions, do they have a purpose? As it turns out, yes, yes they do, their purpose is essentially waiting for death, while hoping Mario’s stupid enough to hit them on the wrong angle, and die.

This stupid funny video is by Dorkly, check out the original here.

“I just want to squirtle all over your face”

Bare in mind the term ‘pick-up line’ is used very loosely in this case, because technically there’s no reason a pick-up line can’t also be flat out sexual harassment.

You’ve gotta admire these guys to an extent, because hitting on a potential sexual partner, especially one who clearly outranks you physically is a really courageous thing to do, throw in the beyond creepy Pokemon pick-up lines, cross-gender cosplay, and you begin to realize these men are incredibly brave, or they simply have no personal respect, either way it’s good entertainment.

Also, never call your cock a weedle, that’s like bragging that you look even fatter once you take your shirt off.

There are a lot of video game concepts that should never be applied to the real world, and this hilarious video is a prime example of why exactly you don’t want to be living inside a video game.