Max Payne 3 Review Courtesies Of Gamespot
Happy MAX PAYNE 3 Day To All
So it has finally arrived over eleven years from Max Payne 2, but it has come, Hell has frozen over. Most of our readers have probably never played Max Payne 1 or 2 and if you’re amongst them then it’s tea bag time for you. However, if you’re a more
mature seasoned gamer, then you have not only played the shit out of Max Payne 1 and 2, you have probably called in sick today to play Max Payne 3, “I’m in bed with a nasty clown,” or in our case “I’m in bed dick up to my eyes.” okay, okay, I know I’m no comedian but hey everyone nowadays gets an A+ just for showing up. I thought long and hard about a Max Payne 3 review and even my own personal FUG video review which we have never done. But 3 beers later and 1 hour into the Max Payne 3, I figured I could just repost the excellent gamespot video review and get myself back to the game. So if you’re reading this looking for a review of some sort, then here is a brief review……. Why the fuck are you reading this? The title of the game is MAX PAYNE 3 , are you a retarded Wal-Mart employee? Get your ass off the couch and buy this game NOW maggots
Many franchises throughout history have received, and ended at a trilogy which in a way is rather fitting (1, 2, 3, beginning, middle, end) Mass Effect 3 is hitting store shelves soon (March 6th) and some might assume this will be the last Mass Effect game (at least for this generation of consoles)
Well that may not be the case, as Gamerzine asked Mass Effect’s producer Mike Gamble if we should hang onto our Mass Effect 3 game saves, to which he responded:
“Obviously I can’t say anything, but it wouldn’t be a bad idea.”
MASS EFFECT 4 CONFIRMED?! Well no, but don’t be surprised if EA’s hugely popular Mass Effect series gets another entry before the fat lady sings out the Xbox 360, and Ps3.
Can’t argue with free
Only thing I’m wondering at this point, is whether I can criticize free content. CheapyD is arriving as free ‘homie’ DLC for Saints Row 3; but unfortunately the only new content is voice work, as CheapyD’s free depiction in Saints Row 3 is essentially just a bald guy dressed in Saints clothing, would of been nice if they developed (or at least altered existing clothing in the game) in order to look like CheapyD.
But again it’s free, so I should probably shut up now, and let CheapyD give ya his description of this free charity DLC:
“After downloading this DLC, you’ll be able to call me up on your cell and have me shoot people in the face for you. Or, as you can see in the above trailer, you can set me on fire and listen to me scream like a young woman.”
Well seeing a grown man scream like a young Woman who’s probably about to be raped is a pretty decent pick me up at least, and if you’d like a mood booster that isn’t morally reprehensible, you can keep reading to find out how, and when you can get this free DLC.
There’s something a bit more personal about impaling your enemy in the stomach, rather than shooting them in the face
This multiplayer footage of Ninja Gaiden 3 really caught me off guard. I’m not invested in the Ninja Gaiden games, I’ve played some of Ninja Gaiden Sigma, it was definitely fun, but I’m not a fan. I’m also not a huge multiplayer guy, and only take certain titles online. Yet somehow this trailer for Ninja Gaiden 3′s multiplayer mode rubs me in all the right ways.
The sheer variety of ways you can dispatch your opponent is impressive, and the gameplay looks like a combination between: God Of War, Assassins Creed, and Super Smash Brothers; as it’s riddled with high flying blood soaked corpse flinging action.
If you’re an action adventure gaming fan, or just plain sick of copy/pasted first person shooters, then Ninja Gaiden 3 might be just what you need. It’s releasing in March for the Ps3, and Xbox 360 with a Wii U release scheduled (will probably end up being a launch title)
I’m not shitting you, there’s an easter egg of a pissed off bear wearing a Tutu in Modern Warfare 3.
Check out the video above to see the bear, in all of his understandable rage.
“You know she’s been beaten worse than that”
This hilarious video by Rooster Teeth showcases a great little ‘mini-game’ you, and a friend can do in Saints Row The Third…namely chucking whores off skyscrapers, and attempting to land them in the back of your pick-up truck. They’re probably doing this because it’s much more efficient to kill a hooker while throwing her into the back of your pick-up truck, rather than wasting your time killing, then moving the body (just my two psychotic cents)
And if the concept of chucking tramps off of buildings isn’t entertaining enough for you, these guys are a fucking funny riot, and leave you thinking “Man, chucking hookers off skyscrapers would be a blast with these guys!”
Stallone, Willis, JCVD, Schwarzenegger and Chuck Norris. Now you know there is going to be some badass 80′s action.
The Expendables was a throw back to the long forgotten 80′s action flicks and the cast was great. Now we get a chance to see the latest “The Expendables 2″ trailer and it looks even better then the first. Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundren, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Terry Crews and Randy Couture all return to reprise their roles. The most exciting news is the additional cast members of Jean-Claude Van Damme and Chuck Norris, I just can’t wait.
Yeah cause your game dropping to 0 frames per second is totally acceptable.
When it comes to Skyrims bugs, and glitches, I’ve mostly just reported on the funny shit, unfortunately for Ps3 users who’s save games are pushing past 5mb, there’s some problems including: poor graphic rendering, long load times, huge framerate drops (that’s the more consistent issue, check out the video above for an example/comparison of how bad it is) more of Skyrims already crazy glitches, and worst of all some game elements can’t be interacted with.
Joshua Sawyer the director of Fallout New Vegas took some time to talk about the crippling Ps3 save bug that’s been plaguing Skyrim players with larger save files:
Apparently being brushed by a knife is identical to being touched by the reaper.
If you’re hit by a knife in Call Of Duty then you’re dead, regardless of how many times it bounced across the map before hitting you.
Up above we see a knife being chucked on top of a helicopter, then chilling out before deciding to drop down on an unsuspecting stomach-bound soldier.
Keep reading for another ridiculous cross map Modern Warfare 3 knife kill.