YOU STOLE MY VIRTUAL GIRLFRIEND! I’LL KILL YOU!!
I was originally planning on having the games name in place of “Crazy Japanese Game” but “Steal and Create Digital Girlfriends Online in Netowaku Netoraru Karemachi Kanojo” is slightly mind-numbingly long-winded.
So how does “Netowaku Netoraru Karemachi Kanojo” work? Basically you can design, and create virtual girls in the game, then proceed to date, and even fuck your creation in a standard dating sim format. However, if you access the online servers (where you can take your pick at courting any of the other custom girls) any digital darlings you designed will then be uploaded, and available to all the horny white knuckled neanderthals across the globe.
Netowaku Netoraru Karemachi Kanojo (copy/paste=love) isn’t simply a user generated dating sim though; each girl on the service has a dynamic AI, and a single identity attached to them. So if you figure your frankenbeauty’s been playing operation with another fella, you can check her cellphone to see if she’s been unfaithful. There’s reportedly one virtual vixen on Netowaku Netoraru Karemachi Kanojo that’s slept with tons of men, has over 30 regular fuck-buddies, but she’s still with her creator, and won’t accept dating requests from other men; and that’s what you call (unsurprisingly artifical) internet class.
You can check out and download Netowaku Netoraru Karemachi Kanojo on its official webpage.
Donkey Punching is an act that’s funny because it’s so genuinely wrong, and a perfect example of mans overwhelming concern for himself, and putting his uttermost satisfaction above anything including possibly giving his girlfriend brain damage.
Now would be a good time to read “What is Donkey Punching?” if you need to be brought up to speed.
Donkey Punching is particularly hilarious today because I found quite possibly the greatest Yahoo Answers Question in the history of the site; a man pleading for help after Donkey Punching his girlfriend right out.
Now that may seem dark, and humorous enough; but the responses (and response to the top response) are where this gets really good, and I know what you’re thinking; and the responders aren’t all judging him…quite the opposite in some cases.
Continue reading for the incredibly informative, irrationally insightful Yahoo Answers that follow, along with an uncensored look at the image above.
Punching someone in the back of the head may lead to serious brain damage and even death. Donkey punching involves the male punching the sexual partner in the back of the head during anal or vaginal sex prior to orgasm, to provoke a shock causing the vaginal or anal muscles to contract around the male’s penis.
The move can be prosecuted as sexual assault and even rape in the case of surprise anal penetration.
-”Ooooh, that feels so good!!! Isn’t it love? …Love? hello? Are you okay? …. aaaaaargh!!!! Love?? Wake up!!!! Aaaaaargh!!!”
Donkey Punch Smash Bros:
An attack in Super Smash Bros.; To perform this move, you must wind upDonkey Kong’s regular “B” button attack, and then unleash it on unsuspecting players.
Aww fuck man, why do you always have to donkey punch me when i’m trying to get back on the edge?!
Donkey Punch Legal:
For anybody even remotely considering this stunt (adequately explained in the definitions) or for those who somehow think the idea of a donkey punch is amusing, I have the following opinion from a prosecutor at our local District Attorney’s Office:
Donkey punching is easily indictable as a serious felony on two counts.
First: deadly assault. A blow to the back of the head is can easily cause a severe or fatal brain stem injury; even no-holes-barred professional fights ban it.
Second: it is rape, pure and simple. The logic of this would be easily understood by any jury. The object and motivation of donkey punching is clear and unambiguous: it is to render the victim unconcious and thus incapable of saying “NO” to something the victim would ordinarily and vigorously object to.
Our office, given proper evidence would, with great eagerness and dertermination, prosecute a case such as this. The probablility of conviction would be virtually certain. Furthermore, we could convincingly argue that the perpetrator(s) are to be regarded as dangerous sex criminials and thus pose a clear community danger while awaiting trial. Few judges would deny our argument that the perpetrators should be imprisioned while awaiting trial.
In addition, there is ample precedence for conviction of those encouraging these crimes on seperate felony crimes of aiding and abetting a sexual assault. A viewing of Jody Foster’s “The Accused”, based on an actual rape conviction, should make this plain to people.
In the case of a prearranged or planned assault, an additional and more serious charge of conspiracy would be added to the indictment.
Models are eye candy used to push products, and often they have absolutely no clue how to operate the merchandise they’re wagging their tits in front of; this is the case with Polish model Natalia Siwiec.
She recently had a promotional Playstation Vita photo shoot, and in nearly every picture she’s either holding the PSV upside down, clearly fake gaming, holding it for maximum finger printage, or just generally opens herself up to parody.
BUT she is hot (when she’s not holding her arms up *shudders*) and you can continue reading for 9 more often funny but almost always attractive pictures of her.
Sometimes it feels weird to label someone as “hot” or “sexy” when you don’t really mean it, this feeling is amplified immensely when you’re talking about digital pictures of a plastic toy modeled after a video game character, depicted in an anime, or cell-shaded (cutscene vs gameplay) manner.
Sure Catherine is the pinnacle of beauty on paper, and her very conception is essentially temptation personified, which is all the more alluring; but I still find myself feeling awkward by labeling these pictures as ‘sexy’
Though, I’m becoming less worried about that by the second, and slowly but surely beginning to despise the partly pretentious over-narration I’ve written above….so fuck it.
Continue reading for 12 more incredibly hot, sexually charged pictures of Catherine the
toy figure kinky cock-tease.
I was originally gonna go with a sexy live action picture for this, but I couldn’t resist exposing you people to these freaky eyed Indians
Sony Computer Entertainment executive producer Pete Smith shared the
best weirdest pitch for a video game he’s ever been presented:
“EyeToy Kama Sutra. Seriously, this was a genuine pitch.”
Peter Smith began explaining how the developer described this potential sex potion motion controlled game before Eurogamers Wesley Yin-Poole cut him off:
“So, the guy is going to me, ‘it’s like, so there’s an outline on the screen with the EyeToy…’”
Just imagine how pissed your partly, portly girlfriend would be if she didn’t fit within that presumably pink outline, probably toss your EyeToy through a wall with her thunder-arms. Peter Smith seems to of put a lot of thought into the Kama Sutra video game post-rejection, wondering how the game would be tested, and promoted:
Phantasy Star Online 2 is a free-to-play PC, smart phone, and Vita compatible game that’s currently only in beta, though the Sega published game will receive its full release July 4th.
But no one cares about any of that, look at them boobs bouncing! What a glorious defect of code, and inhibition.
“ASSFUCK MOVE LEARNED!”
Polymorphous Perversity is a retro style turn based RPG, but instead of slicing monsters with a sword, you’re banging brawds with your rod. And in lieu of a standard potion, and enhancement inventory you’ve got a selection of sex toys to penetrate your willing opponents with.
Interestingly, Polymorphous Perversity isn’t just some random perverts “too much time project” but instead Polymorphous Perversity is sort of an experiment, it’s made by Nicolau Chaud, a Brazillian psychotherapist, and it’s an exploration of sexuality, and not just the clean 1-2 unbuckle my belt, 3-4 cumming into your front door kind of sex, but the dirty, and taboo sort too, which is nice; after all if a game is completely, and utterly focused on one subject matter (whether that subject be sex, or multiplayer military murder) you mine as well cover as much ground as possible.
I apologize for the giggling Jamaican above, but he literally had the only video of this game on Youtube, also he gets some props for being fairly informed about Nicholau Chaud, and his previous work, despite the giggling, or the nationality I’m mildly discriminating against for no particular reason.
If you’re interested in Polymorphous Perversity, you can download it for free here.
They’re like adorable decaying big breasted puppies playing
Lollipop Chainsaw certainly hasn’t shied away from using sexy live actors to help market itself, as we’ve seen from title mascot Juliets actor flaunting her fine commercialized ass around, but this time we’re seeing models wearing (rather unprofessional) zombie make-up…and then proceeding to pile their lovely bodies on top of each other, probably in an attempt to work together as a terribly immobile human snatching creature with 3.5 backs.
I know you’re probably curious about what kinda heat the “Lord Of Terror” is packing, but trust me; Diablos dagger isn’t worth checking out based on what’s wrapped around it
Welcome to the second edition of TASTEFUL, the feature where we take a look at video game pornography not necessarily in an attempt to get your rocks off, but more in a classical artistic approach where each image is selected because it evokes a different reaction that you wouldn’t necessarily experience while surfing your favorite skin sites….but that doesn’t mean this shit is suitable, or intended for the ‘deep’ art crowd, in fact if you’re squeamish you shouldn’t even consider looking past the break.
Today we’re taking a look at some naked depictions of the characters within the Diablo universe to celebrate Diablo 3′s recent world shaking release. I should warn you folks though, some of this is god damn disturbing.
So if you’re not afraid of the full pornographic prowess of the Lord of Terror, continue reading for 8 dirty Diablo pictures.