Beyond Good And Evil 2

So you remember way back when Ubisoft dropped the hint that Beyond Good & Evil 2 will be released Next-Gen? Now they weren’t lying were they. As comments from Ancel himself  “it’s a very ambitious game and we need some tech to achieve that ambition.” He also further comments that it is still a Next-Gen game. Now I thought this gen was called Next-Gen, but apparently Next-Gen is called Next-Gen, or something like that. Why can’t you just be honest and say, Sorry guys, we are a bunch of lazy ass developers who haven’t really put any effort into this game. But because there is a lot of interest we keep throwing it out there to save our sorry ass jobs.

The Mushroom Kingdom is seriously lacking a decent doctor, and most likely due to this, Mario in all his worldly plumbing knowledge was promoted to the role of Doctor some time ago.

So what’s the answer to everything in this wonderful unprofessionals opinion? Drugs, and stripping naked for his enjoyment. I’m not joking, enjoy the hilarious Doctor Mario spoof animation above.

It’s time for another incredibly cheesy live action Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance trailer, and in this one it seems Raidens biotic eye is being installed. Not a whole lot more is notable here, and in case you’re wondering “Jack The Ripper” is a nickname given to Raiden when he was a child fighting in the Liberian Civil War.

Heads up! Amazon has Mass Effect 3 for $30 today as part of their Gold Box deal of the day. This welcome offer is nice because it’s available to everyone, whereas Wal-Mart’s $29.83 Mass Effect 3 deal is Canadian only (but goes till the end of the month)

You may recall how I mentioned I’m working through Mass Effect 2, with the intention of picking up Mass Effect 3 down the road at the first price drop/deal. Well fuck that, I found ME3 for $29.83 NEW at Wal-Mart.

So until the end of the month run down to any Canadian Wal-Mart and grab Biowares epic (potentially hugely disappointing due to the ending) conclusion to the Mass Effect trilogy for as cheap as you’re ever gonna see it.

And yes this deal is Canadian only, and lasts till the end of this month (according to the Wal-Mart employee)

Crysis 2 is what you call “demoware” it’s a visual showcase, and meant to help tout the benefits of the engine it’s running on, namely: CryENGINE 3. The latest free update to CryENGINE (3.4) takes things to a whole new step of holy-freaking beautiful, and includes several core updates including:

•Improved glass rendering.
•Geometric light beams.
•Point light shafts.
•Time of day based filmic HDR tone mapping.
•Curves and key tangents for time of day.
•User controlled per cascade shadow bias through time of day.
•Improved transitions between levels of detail.
•Volumetric fog features extended and improved.
•Improved distance cloud shading.

Happy Easter everybody! I’ve always chuckled at the thought of Christianity’s icon being a literal Zombie, and since today is the day he allegedly rose from the grave, I figured this might be an appropriate Easter picture to share with you folks.

As it’s a holiday I’m gonna use that as an excuse not to post. Expect the regular update tomorrow, and while I’m being casual I should mention, I’m fairly sick, so my head isn’t where it should be, so don’t be surprised if posts aren’t as well written, more sloppy, etc. We’re all human right? That being said I really appreciate everyone who reads the site regularly, and I love bringing you guys the news in an entertaining, crude, and unabashedly honest way.

Fun Fact: If a Woman wants you to fuck her in the ass, and after doing so you call her an ‘anal siren’ she will hit you.

Bioshock Infinite continues its ‘Heavy Hitters’ series by introducing us to the Siren. As with the ‘Boys Of Silence’ we don’t get to actually see the Siren much at all in the video above, but we sure learn a lot about the female necromancer, and her undead reviving ways. I’m guessing there’s (at least initially) a partial horror element to the character, and that we’re not supposed to be seeing her outside the game at all.

Bioshock Infinite releases October 16th for the Ps3, Xbox 360, and PC.

Assassins Creed 3′s protagonist: Connor

The video above gives you a quick weapon oriented introduction to Connor Ratohnhaké:ton, which is pronounced: (Ra-doon-ha-gay-doo)

Connor is unique in the Assassins Creed universe, as he’s an outsider who joined the Assassins guild for mysterious reasons that are key to the story. He belongs to the Mohawk tribe, and is the ancestor to Desmond Miles.

Connor is being depicted with completely new animations from previous games (with the swan dive exception) he can scale trees quickly, he’s a master of dual-wielding, he uses a rope dart to hang enemies from trees, and Connor will be killing real historical figures who died in the spot, and time you murder them in game.