Max Payne 3 Review Courtesies Of Gamespot
Happy MAX PAYNE 3 Day To All
So it has finally arrived over eleven years from Max Payne 2, but it has come, Hell has frozen over. Most of our readers have probably never played Max Payne 1 or 2 and if you’re amongst them then it’s tea bag time for you. However, if you’re a more
mature seasoned gamer, then you have not only played the shit out of Max Payne 1 and 2, you have probably called in sick today to play Max Payne 3, “I’m in bed with a nasty clown,” or in our case “I’m in bed dick up to my eyes.” okay, okay, I know I’m no comedian but hey everyone nowadays gets an A+ just for showing up. I thought long and hard about a Max Payne 3 review and even my own personal FUG video review which we have never done. But 3 beers later and 1 hour into the Max Payne 3, I figured I could just repost the excellent gamespot video review and get myself back to the game. So if you’re reading this looking for a review of some sort, then here is a brief review……. Why the fuck are you reading this? The title of the game is MAX PAYNE 3 , are you a retarded Wal-Mart employee? Get your ass off the couch and buy this game NOW maggots
I’m gonna come right out and say it, this post isn’t going to be nearly as popular as the last Skyrim parody I posted. Why you ask? Is this parody not as funny? No, it’s about as incredible, and laugh inducing as the last Skyrim parody, but the last Skyrim spoof had a certain edge over this one. That edge in question is a muscle-bound dragon-born about to blow his load.
Am I calling Fucked Up Games readers gay? No, of course not; how could wanting to see a muscle bound hunk blow a huge cum load be interpreted as gay in any form? Ok that comes off slightly homoerotic, but regardless that post has been quite popular, so lesson of the day? Sex sells, no matter what form (that’s probably why gay4pay is so popular among meth heads and beer chugging college kids)
WB Games has confirmed the Mortal Kombat Komplete Edition. It includes what you’d expect, and a couple surprising extras. Mortal Kombat’s Komplete Edition includes:
- The 5 DLC characters (Kenshi, Skarlet, Rain, Freddy Krueger)
- Mortal Kombat’s soundtrack: ‘Songs Inspired by the Warriors’
- A voucher to download a copy of the original 1995 Mortal Kombat film
- 15 ‘Klassic’ character costumes
- 3 ‘Klassic’ Fatalities for Mortal Kombats original three ninjas (Scorpion, Sub-Zero, Reptile)
Warner Bros hasn’t confirmed how much it’ll cost, though I’d call a regular retail price a little steep (bare in mind most of those ‘Klassic’ character skins were free) Also while I’m being bitter, I’m not a big fan of the fact that the voucher is for the downloadable version of the movie. I understand on the Xbox 360, but on the Ps3′s side, it’d be great to just flip over to the Video side of the XMB to play the video, mine as well leverage that extra Blu-Ray space.
Mortal Kombat Komplete Edition is hitting the Ps3, and Xbox 360 February 28th. If you’re interested check out our Mortal Kombat 3D review. Continue reading
This videos no pussy willow
Sometimes you don’t need blood, and guts to depict head turning amounts of violence, who says my neck should spray blood like a pop-out of earth sprinkler when it’s sliced with machine gun fire. All this video uses is flowers to depict gun wounds, and it’s arguably more violent then Nathan Drake’s humanized Teen rated mass-murdering.
Who says ‘art’ has no place in the era of new media?
If you’re afraid the world is after you, don’t watch this video
When Devil May Cry (or DmC) the Devil May Cry series reboot was announced, many people were pissed…mostly because Dante had such a radical redesign. I personally welcomes the change, the series felt a little too “Japanese-y” to get much attention from the West, after all, if we’re going to play a action/adventure game like that, I think Playstation owners will flock right to Kratos, and Xbox owners will probably jump on Ninja Gaiden.
In this trailer we see Dante pretty much getting screwed over by the city, it appears to by alive, and very evil, morphing around him to create obstacles. The games combat is looking very tight (thanks Ninja Theory!) and we see Dante speaking with some ghost-like girl throughout the trailer, which I always find nice, regular dialogue between the protagonists always adds a great organic natural feeling to any game.
Keep your eye on this one folks.
Zenimax announced that The Elder Scrolls 5: Skyrim has shipped 10 million copies since launch. It’s reportedly the best selling game in Steams history, and Skyrim has outsold all other PC games by 3:1!
Keep reading to see the full press release.
Activision has become the King of the Gods and the sole ruler of the gaming industry
All Hail the King
In ancient times, the mighty Greeks believed in several gods. But even amongst these Gods lived a King of the Gods, the almighty, legendary Zeus. Greeks would pray and beg Zeus for forgiveness as they feared his wraith. Certain destruction and death would soon follow for any non-believers, which is why constant sacrifices, gold and temples were devoted to him. But why you ask? Why would an almighty King of the Gods bother with a mere mortal human? Why do kids burn ants with a magnifying glass? Because they just fucking can, that’s why.
Continue reading for my explanation of Activision’s Godhood
You got your Bayonetta in my Metal Gear
We originally saw a trailer for Metal Gear Rising in 2010, and since then we’ve heard nothing about Rising, just rumors that the game was facing development troubles.
Kojima has now admitted that Metal Gear Rising was half finished (story, motion capture, and missions were nearly completed), and then cancelled for a period of time, before Platinum Games (Bayonetta, Vanquish) stepped in to finish the game design among other things including “fixing” the story.
Now Metal Gear Rising is Metal Gear Rising Revengeance (did I spell that fictional word correctly?) The game looks like much more of a modern action game in the style of Bayonetta, Devil May Cry, or God Of War rather than the original “cut anything, anyway, anytime” innovative title Kojimas team was working on.
Overall it looks like it’ll be a good one, but I can’t help but feel the game is just settling for the hack/slash genre, instead of defining it as the previous trailer seemed to do….Also Raiden sounds like a douche in Revengenace.
Keep reading to see the excellent original 2010 Metal Gear Rising, and a comparison video, between 2010′s original Rising, and 2011′s Revengenace.
We’ve been waiting to hear more about the mysterious “The Last Of Us” and Spike’s Game Awards surprisingly came through with their promise to deliver a “Ps3 exclusive you wont believe”
I have the trailer after the break for your viewing pleasure, but first let me waste a little bit of your time.
“The Last of Us is a genre-defining experience that blends survival and action elements to tell a character driven tale about a modern plague decimating mankind. Nature encroaches upon civilization, forcing remaining survivors to kill for food, weapons and whatever they can find. Joel, a ruthless survivor, and Ellie, a brave young teenage girl who is wise beyond her years, must work together to survive their journey across what remains of the United States.”
Sounds pretty good right? That’s not even the best part, what ensures this excellent concept will be executed flawlessly is that Naughty Dog is developing it (Uncharted series) This may come as a surprise since they just released Uncharted 3 in November, but apparently a separate team within Naughty Dog has been developing ‘The Last Of Us’ for the past two years.
Good stuff all around; keep reading to watch the new announcement trailer for ‘The Last Of Us’, and we’ll catch up after.
That shotgun is lookin niice
There’s 2 new Saints Row 3 DLC packs available now. Up above we have the Z-Style DLC pack, that let’s you wear the pimp’s “Z suit” the pack also gives you the ridiculously beautiful weaponized piece of art “The Bling Shotgun” I never thought a shotgun could be sexy until now, and it packs a motherfucking punch.
Then keep reading for the Explosive Combat DLC trailer, this one features a badass future soldier suit, along with a devastating grenade launcher.